Out of Focus

As I mentioned yesterday, I have spent quite a bit of time working on my next book. For weeks I did little else. My to-do list lengthened (mental list, that is--I was too busy to actually write anything down) and my house got messier. On some nights I didn't go to sleep until 3 a.m., especially toward the end when I was sure "today would be the day" and I would finish. My characters generally had other ideas, dragging me deeper into a never-ending story (which did finally end) that began to resemble the Democratic party's primary race.

Yesterday I took a well-deserved rest. Today, I thought, I would wake up and tackle life. That is, until I opened my eyes. I was more tired than I had expected and the sky was a dismal gray. So I slumped through the day, catching up on emails and reading nearly every post in the CNN blogs.

I thought I would get back to life tomorrow, running long-postponed errands and jumping into spring cleaning, but they're predicting rain all day. Not only rain, but thunderstorms. We know that April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring Pilgrims. The question in Kentucky these days is, What do May showers bring?

I crave sunshine. Really, I can't go long without it. That's a major reason why we moved to Kentucky. They say this weather is unusual--just like the countless snow days this winter. That doesn't encourage me.

This is the grayest May I've ever seen. While I was obsessed with writing my book, I could try to ignore the gloomy weather. But now what do I do?

Tomorrow I'll keep reading emails (I fell very far behind) and watch my soap. I'll try to do something productive. But I'm tempted to reopen the file of my book and start reading from the beginning again. I lived with these characters so long. I miss them. And even when something sad happens, it's better than looking out at the gloomy gray sky.