I stepped out into the cold night air. It was so cold I had to zip my jacket and stuff my hands into my pockets. He finally joined me. "Hurry up," I said. "It's cold out here."
What is it? Cold. Good, you've been paying attention.
Maybe it's a little too cold though. Three times in one sentence. We get the point already.
What about this instead?
I stepped out into the frigid night air. The cold ran through me. I zipped my jacket and stuffed my hands into the pockets. He finally joined me. "Hurry up," I said. "I'm freezing."
That's better, isn't it? It's still not literary quality, but it's easier on the eyes and the tongue. And it paints a clearer picture.
Synonyms are a wonderful tool. I advise using them whenever possible.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment